The thing I remember about my own dad is that sometimes I got to sit next to him or on his lap and get involved in whatever he was doing. I think kids look up to adults for such modeling and formative behaviors. I mean it’s not always innocent. Daddy gave me a cigarette when I was 3 or 4 and I tried to smoke it just like him. Got sick. Never wanted another. Lesson learned. But he also held me during church when I needed to be quiet. And he sometimes played and sometimes corrected.

Fathers carry some emotional weight in the formation of children’s souls. It is not a bad thing to have a father. And it is a good thing when a child without one gets one.

I love pictures of dads who take it upon themselves to give skin-to-skin contact to babies in the first hours after they are born. That has become an expected means of bonding for father and child. And it is a beautiful thing, even though a vulnerable moment.

My earliest memories with my dad include taking me down the creek to the river where we fished (or as I found out later, he made me think I was fishing). Even one time caught a hook in the dog’s mouth. He was tough to reel to shore. But after some barking and whining, we got the hook out. Dog didn’t sass me again.

The smell of Old Spice after shave, the feel of a leather belt, the wonder of body hair (even growing in nostrils), all unique to the male experience. These things are formative. Children need to experience that.

Many have written of the importance of male leadership in the household. Mothers are surely of no less importance, but a dad’s presence, in church, in the home, and at the bedside during tough times in life, all give guidance to little growing souls.

All which feeds into a memory I have of going to my wife’s home church in the early days of our courtship and marriage. This church on the edge of the coalfields of Virginia would be filled with families, many for whom the dad was not present, but for some he was. One of the important rituals of the non-ritualistic Free Will Baptist Church in that community was that they would take up prayer requests. This took a while. There was much to pray over and everyone got to give input. Among the requests for people in the hospital, people with deaths in the family, and people who were in nursing homes, there was a common appeal for “my lost children and grandchildren.” The first time I heard it I thought it was a little odd, but as it kept getting repeated, I soon came to look forward to hearing it. I mean why not pray for your lost family? This was a faith-filled request that expected God to not only show up, but to change hearts and minds. Many of those prayed for had gone astray. The Bible says “Train up a child in the way he [or she] should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). These moms and dads meant what they were saying and they looked forward in expectant hope that God, who they believed was real, would really turn up and transform a life.

Father’s Day needs to be a day we not only honor fathers, but a day to pray that families would find the love and grace of Jesus Christ. It’s a day to pray for children, and parents. And all the other “relations.” May we see strong families and strong individuals, surrounded by the kind of love that makes people strong. That’s my prayer. How bout you?