My wife’s former co-worker passed away recently. She was a kind and gracious lady, a native of Holland, who moved to America to marry her love, and settle in the Baptist Valley section of Tazewell County, VA. She had skills that made her a natural in her job as part of the program that paid for women to go into non-traditional trades at Southwest Virginia Community College. My wife’s desk sat next to hers in a cramped office in what we used to call King Hall, but I think it’s Ralph Davis Hall today.

She really helped mentor my wife as she navigated the beginning of adult life. She had all kinds of knowledge to bring and brought it with both wisdom and grace born of her depth of experience and maturity.

She had this saying she used often to goad someone into being bold and courageous. She’d say, “You already have ‘no’, you might get ‘yes.’” Meaning, you need to ask, as the Bible suggests, (“Ye have not because ye ask not.”). Many times that one phrase opened the doors to new adventure and a growing sense of confidence.

So many times in life, we get stuck at needing that “yes.” We’re afraid to ask for it because we tell ourselves it isn’t possible. We sometimes talk ourselves out of things just by the narrative we create in our minds. This becomes an excuse for staying where we are, in the safety of not knowing, not venturing, not believing. And we build our lives around these lies we tell ourselves that “so and so won’t let us” do whatever we’re seeking to do. Granted, sometimes they won’t. But Jesus told a story about a woman that kept knocking on the door in spite of being told to go away. And she finally knocked long enough that the person on the other side answered her and gave her what she wanted.

Life is certainly like that. If we keep trying, keep believing, keep boldly asking, we will eventually break through whatever is holding us back. And we’ll see what positivity can do.

Sometimes I think God is just waiting for us to ask before giving us what the Bible calls “the desires of our heart.”

You already have no, my friend. You might just get “yes.”

Go and see.